Drama-Dary

Dear You,

You know... I thought we had passed the immature kinds of dramatic activities that took place in high school. I mean... I'm 26. Most of my friends are my age, and a handful are older than I am. I don't find I am able to be friends very successfully with people who are younger than me, simply based on the fact that their maturity level often doesn't match my own. (Please don't be insulted by that. I'm just saying.)

Unfortunately, the people I choose to associate with sometimes seem to know people who are not necessarily as cool and drama-free as I like my life to be. Unfortunately, there are still some adults in the world who do not know what it means to have class, tact and decency. They find themselves lacking in these areas when they are sober. With the addition of alcohol, any beginnings of a grip on how to handle themselves in an adult manner that they may have initially had are gone, and they are subsequently reduced to mere apes.

What I am speaking of, directly, is a rather long story. I have this friend (again with the friends, I know...), we'll call him Jacob, just for arguments' sake. Obviously this is not his actual name.

Jacob is one of the best friends I have right now. A while back... say a month or so ago now, he got himself involved with this girl... Amanda (not her name). The day before Jacob fell into Amanda's trap, her husband left her. Amanda also has a relatively young daughter. Obviously a reasonable mind can see that this woman is making a horrible mistake already, and that our dear friend Jacob is walking into a really large rebound thing here. He missed it. No big deal.

So, time goes on, and the relationship between Jacob and Amanda heads toward the sewers. He attempts to break things off, and she goes bat-crap crazy, basically. Starts spreading her negativity to their mutual friends. Sends relentless and rude text messages at all hours of the day and night.

He eventually makes a smart decision, and cuts contact with not just Amanda, but also their mutual friends, who appear to have taken Amanda's "side" in the mess. You see, these people, being the drama-queens that they are, decided it would be appropriate to give my friend attitude about his decision. Obviously this is not an appropriate reaction at all, particularly not for two people who are so near the 30-year age mark.

This all passed, and Jacob's life went back to being quiet and peaceful. He and I resumed spending time together, which we had not been able to do while he was seeing Amanda (she felt somehow threatened by my friendship with Jacob, and he decided as a result that it would be best to keep his distance from me. No big deal.). Things went back to normal, basically.

Until tonight.

Tonight, Jacob and I did what we always do. He picked me up from home, and we drove to a coffee shop, picked up a coffee each, and found a quiet spot to chat and just hang out (Keep your minds out of the gutter -- everybody's pants stayed on). We were having a good night, and came back to my place early, because I am babysitting my roommate's dog for the evening, and who should we drive by on the way in to my apartment than Jacob's old friends. They noticed us. I still had to walk the dog, so I went inside and got her, while Jacob stayed outside. He told me when I got back outside to where he was in the parking lot that a group of people from the party his friends were at had walked to the entrance of my parking lot and looked at his car, and then walked away without saying anything.

We went on and walked the dog as normal, but on the way back, we crossed paths with the same group. Unfortunately, this is where their collective lack of tact comes into play. Instead of civilly saying "Hello" and moving on, and allowing us to move on, they instead chose to shout at Jason while we walked by. Frankly I am more upset that they upset my friend, and embarrassed for them over their behaviour than I am upset for my own sake (Let's not think for one second that I wasn't dragged into it just as a result of being there at that moment). Jason took his opportunity and went home, at this point. Neither of us said a word back to the group, we just kept walking. It is, as you know, the adult thing to do, to ignore the cat-calls and taunts of the juvenile.

I know that both I and my friend are far better people than his ex-friends are. I just wonder if anything can be done to make these specific individuals understand that what they do and what they say only looks poorly on them? Why do people still choose to behave like children, when they are actually adults? Is it a question of the influence of alcohol, or are they actually just that ignorant?

Suffice it to say that if this ever happens to you, always take the high road. Never respond, just keep walking. Responding only opens an invitation to your aggressor(s) to make matters worse. By walking on and ignoring the words, you simply leave him/her/them standing in the road, shouting like a lunatic... and boy, do they ever look silly when you do that.

Yours in exasperation,

- A.